What if I told you that the key to healing lies in understanding five different areas of the self?
You'd probably wonder how it could be that simple. After all, psychotherapy has been around for years and years, and it's only recently that we've been able to really pinpoint what makes us tick as humans.
Well, it's actually not just one thing; it's a combination of things. The journey toward healing is always an ongoing process—one that involves making peace with the past, and creating conditions for safety in order for us to shine brightly in the future.
In order to do this, we must invite on this journey a few selves who work together harmoniously so they can create harmony and safety within us and allow us to SHINE brightly as a human star.
The goal is always to make peace in each of these 5 areas. All too often on the healing journey, we are trying to make peace with the past but focus on only one or two parts of ourselves—like our minds or our emotions—while ignoring others like our bodies or spirit because they seem less important than those other parts of ourselves. They are not.
As a human being, you are a star. You have a light that shines brightly from within, and that light is your True North Star. We all have one—we just need to find it.
The journey to finding your own True North Star begins with the acceptance that there are five parts of you that need to be integrated into your life in order for you to shine brightly as a human star. These five parts are:
- The mind
-The emotional body
-The physical body
If any of these areas are out of balance or not working together harmoniously, then the result will be a lack of safety within yourself and around others—and this lack of safety makes it hard for us to shine brightly as human stars.
Healing is a process. It's a journey.
When we think of healing, we often think of it as a one-time event—like going to the doctor and getting a prescription for antibiotics. But, as you may have discovered, that's not how it works. Healing is a process, and it's an ongoing one at that.
One of the great misconceptions of healing or "doing the work" is that you have to work through “all your stuff” before you have a chance of finding inner peace.
In truth, the process also works in reverse: You can find inner peace by connecting with your higher self and quieting the critical mind, which will allow for an easier resolution to whatever is unresolved from your past.
This is only possible with a calm centered nervous system. To achieve that state, you'll need to feel safe. The deeper your safety, the more quickly and smoothly the process of resolving the past will be.
Here are some simple ways you can calm your nervous system:
Breathe in for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, breathe out for a count of 4. This is called “square breathing” and can be done anywhere at any time. It helps to slow down your heart rate and reduce stress levels by focusing on your breath rather than whatever situation is causing you anxiety or making you feel nervous.
Breathe through your nose and out through your mouth while doing this exercise because breathing too fast can cause hyperventilation which can make the symptoms worse. If you find it difficult to breathe normally through your nose, try opening one nostril at a time so that only one side is blocked at any given time (this will help keep carbon dioxide levels balanced).
Physical movement: Any kind of physical activity will help get your body moving, which releases endorphins that make you feel good. It also helps you take a break from whatever stressful situation caused the anxiety in the first place!
Grounding is a process of connecting with the earth’s energy, which is grounded in the center of the planet. You can connect to this energy by feeling your feet on the ground, noticing how your body feels when it’s connected to Earth rather than floating above it or being separated from it.
If you want a more formal practice of grounding/centering/settling: Sit or lie down in a quiet place where you won't be disturbed for several minutes (or longer if possible). Close your eyes and take slow deep breaths for a few minutes until your mind has relaxed and become still. Ask yourself what kind of support would help you feel calm right now? Is there any tension in your body that needs relaxing? Where do these tensions start and end? Now imagine that each one is like an elastic band attached to deep inside yourself like a little balloon filled with air; as you breathe out imagine letting go of all this tension within yourself by gently relaxing each muscle group until it releases all its fluidity into nothingness. Then think about what helps bring clarity back into your life again—what would give me peace right now?
- Create an anchor. An anchor is a nervous system cue that can elicit a memory or the sensation of deep inner peace. I actually created Worthy Wands as a way to anchor myself back into my body. You can use anything to create a personal anchor for yourself to trigger a desired state of being.
- Come up with a desired state of being. Whatever emotion you want to anchor in. When you are there in your mind make a unique sensory signal with the sense of touch. For example, my necklaces is a bar, I call them anchors, and I press my thumb and my index finger around the wand applying a certain amount of pressure. You can do this with a crystal, a rock, your own necklace, anything really. The memory of this sensation combined with the imagine of you at peace and joyful and safe creates a kind of homing beacon for our nervous system. Anytime you then need to ground yourself or anchor yourself you can use the signal of the thumb and index finger to evoke safety or peace or whatever you desire to anchor in.
- If your anchor doesn't seem to be effective right away, repeat the meditative practice to reinforce the signal.
The key is to try a few different things and see what works for you. If one technique doesn’t feel good, try another one! You may even find that combining two methods can be more effective than just doing one on its own. Remember: we all have different needs, so don’t be afraid to experiment with what works best for you in any given situation.
If you've ever wanted to make peace with your past and create safety for yourself so that you can shine brightly in the future, then it's time to find your own True North Star.
Your North Star is home, and home is wherever YOU are wholly, completely, and safely. Home is always found within. It's not a place, it's a state of being.
Much like Dorothy in the Wizard of OZ all she had to do was click her heels 3 times to return home.
Ask yourself - do you feel at home in your own body and if not, what do you need to do to create that safety?
If you ever feel called to explore things deeper you can check out some of the upcoming programs by visiting the link in my bio on IG
Amanda xx - Chief Worthiness Officer - Worthy Wands