Tell-tale signs of low self-worth
It's not uncommon for people to have low self-worth. In fact, 85% of the world's population are affected by low self esteem. Self-esteem is often referred to as self-worth or self-respect. When individuals have low self-esteem it can be difficult to feel a sense of worth or confidence in who they are. Knowing the signs of low self worth is the first step towards improving your quality of life.
You lack self-awareness.
Self-awareness is the ability to recognize your own strengths and weaknesses, as well as knowing what you are good at, and what you need to work on. It's also about knowing what makes you happy, and what makes you sad. Self-awareness is a crucial skill that allows us to understand our needs so we can meet them. Contrary to popular belief, it is not someone else's job to make us happy. That's our job! When we can really truly take responsibility for our own happiness, we let others off the hook and relationships become more fulfilling.
You can tell if someone lacks self-awareness by observing how they behave in certain situations: Are they humble? Do they take responsibility when something goes wrong? Do they blame others when things don't go their way? These are all signs of a person who lacks self-awareness. A lack of self awareness may also manifest itself through an inability to describe one's own emotions or recognize the feelings of others; a tendency toward overthinking everything; difficulty making decisions without help from others; excessive worrying about past events; difficulty seeing all sides of an issue when presented with different perspectives; indecisive behavior (or flip flops between different choices); being overly critical of oneself while being overly generous toward other people's faults/failures/mistakes (e.g., "I'm such an idiot..." vs "You made a mistake, but it's okay...").
You don't challenge yourself. You limit yourself and your life by not trying new things, not taking risks and playing it safe.
If you don’t take a risk on something new, if you don’t try something that scares you, then you're living inside your comfort zone and you won't grow. If there is no excitement in your life then what motivation do you have to get up every day? The only way we grow as human beings is by challenging ourselves and learning from those experiences.
You're overly concerned with what others think of you.
You seek approval from others.
You're afraid of being judged.
You're afraid of being rejected.
You're afraid of being disliked
Now ask yourself, what is that costing you?
You're a perfectionist.
This one is HUGE! Or maybe you have some other traits of perfectionism, like being too critical or having high standards for yourself and others. If this sounds familiar, it’s because these are all symptoms of low self-worth in disguise. Perfectionism is a defense mechanism against the pain of criticism, failure and judgment. You want to be perfect because it makes you feel safe from negative emotions that could make you vulnerable to attack—The problem with perfectionism is that you won't try anything new unless you know you will succeed, but then you aren't learning anything new. Learning, failing, getting back up and trying again is how we evolve and grow. Remember, no one is judging you more than you.
You need validation from others.
If you are constantly looking for validation from others, then it's a sign that you don't feel confident in your own ability to think for yourself. In order to grow as an individual and feel good about yourself, it's important to have the self-worth needed so that other people's opinions don't matter, because their opinion is just that, an opinion.
You have trouble asking for help.
Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. If you're struggling to get through a tough time in your life, asking for someone's aid can make all the difference in the world. It will show others that you trust them enough to ask for help from them, not to mention it builds self-trust.
If we don't ask for assistance when we really need it, then we'll never receive it—and that means we're missing out on opportunities that would otherwise be available in our lives, and we are sending ourselves the message that we aren't worthy enough. Also, there is no award for burnout.
You feel guilty when you say no and instead spend your time doing things that you don't want to do.
When you say no to something and don't feel guilty about it, it's a sign that you value yourself. You know what your priorities are. If someone asks you to do something that doesn't fit into those priorities, then by all means say no! But if there's something that you think is important and worth doing, go for it!
Here are some examples of things people have said yes to because they didn't want to disappoint others:
Giving money to family members who constantly ask for money instead of saving up for their own goals like owning a house or taking that trip.
Spending their free time helping out their parents or others around the house instead of working on their own hobbies, passions and dreams—even though they've been talking about this stuff since they were kids! They just don't want their parents/friends to be mad at them so they give in rather than risk disappointing them by saying no (and having them get upset). ( how someone else handles your truth is on them, not you, so long as you deliver it with confidence, love and compassion.) It could sound like this: "I would have loved to help out this weekend, but I already have plans, please keep me in mind next time and let me know how things go!"
You beat yourself up.
When you feel like you don't deserve something, it's easy to assume that the situation is your fault. If someone doesn't respond to a text message within an hour, for example, it's not because they're busy and can't respond right away—it's because they didn't want to talk with you.
When we believe our negative thoughts about ourselves are true, we continue to cycle of judgement. Just because we think a thought doesn't make it true. If it's negative in nature, mean or makes us feel sad, it is not our voice, nor is it the voice of truth.
You minimize the positive.
Even when you do recognize that something good has happened to you, you tend to downplay it. This is because your brain has become so accustomed to noticing things that are wrong with you and what's going on around you that it can be difficult for something positive to resonate with your brain.
It’s important to recognize the good things in life. Our brains are wired to keep us safe, not happy so we need more happy positive thoughts to counterbalance the negative bias that's hardwired in. We need this more than we realize; they help us feel better about ourselves and about our lives overall. When we fail at this task, it means that we're not getting enough positive experiences in order for them to stand out against all that negative mental clutter!
Being aware of the signs of low self worth can help you recognize them in yourself.
If you notice this happening, it’s important to acknowledge the feeling and try to identify what is making you feel that way. Maybe it's something about your job or relationship, but maybe it’s something deeper. It’s not always easy to admit when we have a problem with our self-worth, so being able to identify these symptoms helps us understand our own thoughts and feelings better.
Don't judge yourself —it's part of being human and as mentioned earlier 85% of people struggle with their self-worth. It's not like a university degree that once you have it, its yours forever more. We have to stay on top of it and continue to grow it with each new opportunity! We all deserve love and respect from others; we also need to learn how much love and respect we can give ourselves.
If you've identified with any of the signs of low self worth, take heart. It's possible to change your mindset and feel good about yourself again. In fact, it's not just possible: it's a necessity if you want to be happy in life! To start feeling better about yourself right away, try some of these tips:
Make a list of things that you LOVE about yourself. I know that might sound cheesy, but you soul ( soil ) needs some watering. Take yourself out on a date. Whatever you are craving from another, give to yourself. Spend time around people who are good for your mental wellness. That are positive, fun, uplifting. Increase your vibration by singing, humming your favourite song. Don't sing it, HUM it - the vibration alone will raise your energy and make you FEEL amazing! Try it! Lastly, be gentle on yourself. Talk to yourself as if you were talking to a sweet little four year old who is scared and alone.
You are, that four year old is you.
Sending you all my love,
Amanda - Chief Worthiness Officer Worthy Wands