Welcome back, love.
In Part One, we explored the truth that self-love begins not with performance, but with perspective. Through the eyes of God, Source, Spirit, through the eyes of love, you are already whole.
Already worthy. Already enough.
But if that’s true...
Why is it still so hard to feel it?
Because along the path to self-love, there are sacred obstacles, each one asking not to block you, but to build you.
Let’s walk through them together.
If you found Part 1 and it resonated, you're likely here because you're ready to go deeper. Not just to understand why self-love feels impossible, but to learn how to navigate the obstacles that stand between you and your worth.
These aren't random struggles. They're sacred initiations, each one designed to strengthen your capacity to hold your own love.
Why These Are Called "Sacred Obstacles"
Most self-help content frames obstacles as problems to eliminate. But what if I told you that the obstacles themselves are part of the path?
Every time you bump against comparison, every time you feel the pull of "should," every time you catch yourself waiting for permission, that's not failure. That's your becoming asking you to choose differently.
This is the ANCHOR Method in practice: Awareness (seeing the pattern), Choice (deciding what serves you), Remembrance (returning to your inherent worth).
Let's dive into each obstacle and the reframe that transforms it.
1. Comparison
The Lie: She’s ahead. You’re behind.
The Truth: You are incomparable.
Comparison is a distortion, not a reflection. It magnifies her highlight reel and minimizes your becoming.
But the only time you can feel "not enough"… is when you’re using someone else as your ruler.
The Reframe:
The journey is yours. The timeline is yours.
And your enoughness? Never up for debate.
Why comparison is a nervous system issue:
When you compare yourself to others, your brain registers it as a threat ("I'm not safe as I am"). This triggers your sympathetic nervous system, the same response you'd have if you were being chased. You cannot access self-love from a threat state. You can only access it from safety.
The practice: Next time you catch yourself comparing, place your hand on your heart and take three breaths. Say: "My timeline is mine. Her timeline is hers. Both are sacred." This activates your Nervous System pillar, regulating before you can choose differently.
(Deep dive: The Power of Anchoring - Comparison and Self-Worth)
2. Fear of Letting Go
The Lie: Comfort is safety.
The Truth: Familiar isn’t the same as aligned.
Your brain craves what’s known, even if what’s known is draining you.
But here’s the sacred question: Is this getting me closer to the life I’m here to create?
If not… it’s already costing you more than you realize.
The Reframe:
You are the asset.
If it’s not appreciating you, it’s depreciating you.
Why we cling to what hurts us:
Your nervous system prefers predictable pain over uncertain growth. This isn't weakness, it's biology. But here's the truth: staying stuck is a choice. And choosing to stay is choosing against yourself.
The practice: Write down what you're afraid to release. Then ask: "What am I making this mean about me if I let it go?" Often, we're not afraid of losing the thing, we're afraid of who we'll be without it. This is Ownership, taking responsibility for what you're choosing to carry.
3. Undervaluing Your Magic
The Lie: You’re nothing special.
The Truth: You’re an unrepeatable frequency.
Most of us were conditioned to dim so we could belong.
But self-love asks you to shine, even if your light makes someone else squint.
The Reframe:
Value sees value.
So stand with people who see you clearly.
Why dimming yourself is self-abandonment:
Every time you shrink, play small, or hide your gifts to make others comfortable, you're telling your soul: "You're too much." And over time, "too much" becomes "not enough." Self-love requires self-permission, to take up space, to be seen, to be undeniable.
The practice: Finish this sentence: "If I wasn't afraid of judgment, I would..." Whatever you wrote is the magic you've been hiding. This week, let ONE person see it. Just one. This is Honor, honoring the truth of who you are, even when it's uncomfortable.
4. Believing Self-Love is a Destination
The Lie: You’ll arrive when you finally feel it.
The Truth: You arrive when you remember.
Self-love isn’t linear. It’s layered. It’s alive.
Some days you’ll forget. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it means you’re human.
The Reframe:
This isn’t a race. It’s a rhythm.
Let your becoming take the time it takes.
Why the "destination mindset" sabotages you:
When you treat self-love like a goal, every moment you don't feel it becomes evidence of failure. But self-love isn't a feeling, it's a frequency you tune into. Some days the signal is clear. Some days there's static. Both are part of the practice.
The science: Research shows it takes 59-66 days to form a new habit. If you're just beginning your self-love practice, give yourself at least 90 days of consistent daily returns before you judge whether it's "working."
The practice: Instead of asking "Do I love myself yet?", ask "Did I choose myself today?" Count those moments. This is Choice, making decisions from worth, not fear.
(Learn more: The Neuroscience of Anchoring)
5. Pushing Too Hard
The Lie: You just need to try harder.
The Truth: You already are enough.
Burnout is not a badge of honor. Self-abandonment isn’t a strategy.
And productivity isn’t the same as purpose.
The Reframe:
More being. Less proving.
Your worth doesn’t live in your output.
Why "self-improvement" can become self-punishment:
"I'm working on myself" can become another way to say "I'm not enough yet." If your self-love practice feels like another productivity hack, another way to optimize and improve it's not self-love. It's self-criticism in a prettier package.
The practice: This week, choose ONE act of radical non-productivity. Cancel something you don't want to do. Sleep an extra hour. Say no without explanation. Your body needs to know: "I don't need to earn my worth." This is the Nervous System pillar creating safety through rest, not hustle.
6. The Endless “Shoulds”
The Lie: You should be further by now.
The Truth: You are exactly where you’re meant to be.
External expectations are loud. But your soul? She speaks in whispers.
And every time you chase a “should,” you abandon a sacred yes.
The Reframe:
You don’t exist to meet expectations.
You exist to embody truth.
Why "should" is a violence against yourself:
Every "should" is someone else's voice in your head, your mother's, society's, the version of you that you think you're supposed to be. Self-love requires listening to YOUR voice. But if you've spent decades following "should," you might not recognize your own voice anymore.
The practice: For 24 hours, ban the word "should" from your vocabulary. Notice how often it appears. Replace it with:
- "I choose to..."
- "I want to..."
- "I'm not available for that."
Feel the difference between obligation and choice. This is Ownership, claiming your decisions as your own, not borrowing them from others.
7. Unhealed Roots
The Lie: If I ignore it, it’ll go away.
The Truth: What you don’t heal, you repeat.
Sometimes the struggle with self-love isn’t about this moment, it’s about the one you never got to process.
The little you who’s still waiting to be seen.
The Reframe:
Your healing is not a burden.
It’s your birthright.
You were born worthy, and nothing that’s happened changes that.
Why surface-level self-love doesn't last:
If you learned as a child that love was conditional, earned through performance, appearance, obedience, your nervous system still believes that. No amount of adult affirmations will override childhood programming. You have to go to the root.
The practice: Ask yourself: "When did I first learn that I wasn't enough as I am?" Sit with whatever memory surfaces. You don't need to fix it yet. Just witness it. This is Awareness, the first pillar of the ANCHOR Method. You cannot change what you cannot see.
Important: This is deep work. Consider working with a trauma-informed therapist alongside your self-love practice. The ANCHOR Method complements professional healing beautifully.
8. Waiting for Someone Else to Go First
The Lie: I’ll love myself when they do.
The Truth: It starts with you.
No one is coming to crown you.
That’s your job.
The Reframe:
You are not a reflection of how others treat you.
You are the standard.
And you set the tone for everything that follows.
Why external validation keeps you powerless:
If you're waiting for someone else to see your worth before you believe it yourself, you've given your power away. And self-love from a place of powerlessness? Impossible. Self-love requires self-sovereignty the deep knowing that your worth is not up for vote.
The practice: What if you stopped waiting? What if you decided, right now, that you are worthy of your own love not because you've earned it, but because you exist?
This is Remembrance the final pillar of the ANCHOR Method. You were always worthy. You just forgot.
Physical anchors help here. Many women wear a Worthy | Enough necklace as a daily reminder: "I am not waiting to be chosen. I choose myself." The body remembers what the mind forgets.
How to Work With These Obstacles (Not Against Them)
Now that you see the 8 sacred obstacles, here's how to navigate them:
1. Don't Try to Fix Them All at Once
Pick the ONE that made you feel the most seen. Start there. Give it 30 days of focused practice.
2. Use the ANCHOR Method Framework
Each obstacle corresponds to one or more ANCHOR pillars:
- Comparison → Awareness + Nervous System
- Fear of letting go → Ownership + Choice
- Undervaluing magic → Honor
- Destination mindset → Choice + Remembrance
- Pushing too hard → Nervous System + Honor
- "Shoulds" → Ownership + Choice
- Unhealed roots → Awareness + Remembrance
- Waiting for permission → Ownership + Remembrance
Take the ANCHOR Method Assessment to discover which pillar needs your focus most.
3. Create a Physical Practice
Affirmations alone don't work. You need embodied practices that engage your nervous system:
- Breathwork (regulates nervous system)
- Journaling (processes emotion)
- Physical anchors (creates somatic memory)
This is why we created Worthy Wands, not as decoration, but as nervous system tools.
4. Give It Time
You didn't develop these patterns overnight. They won't dissolve overnight either. Neuroplasticity takes 59-66 days on average. Be patient with your becoming.
Let This Be the Reminder
Self-love isn’t about arriving.
It’s about returning, again and again, to what was never lost.
And if you’re walking this path…
Know this: I’m walking it too.
Even after building a multi-million dollar brand around worthiness, I still meet the younger version of me in quiet moments.
I still pause. I still re-anchor. I still remember.
Because self-love isn’t a one-time choice.
It’s a lifetime of re-choosing.
And you, love?
You’re doing better than you think.
You’re closer than you know.
This isn’t about perfection.
It’s about presence.
It’s about power.
It’s about anchoring your worth, and never forgetting it again.
The practice never ends. But it does get easier. And every time you choose yourself. even in the smallest ways you're rewiring your brain, regulating your nervous system, and proving to yourself: I am worth choosing.
Continue Your Self-Love Journey
If these obstacles resonated, here's what to do next:
Read Part 1 Again → Revisit the 8 reasons self-love feels impossible
Take the ANCHOR Method Assessment → Discover which of the 6 pillars to focus on first
Find Your Physical Anchor → Choose jewelry designed for nervous system regulation
Learn the Full ANCHOR Method → Understand all 6 pillars deeply
Read the Founder Story → How the ANCHOR Method was born from breakdown
The obstacles are sacred. The practice is daily. And you, love, you are worthy of every choice you make toward yourself.
With you always,
Amanda
Chief Worthiness Officer - Worthy Wands
Q: What are the sacred obstacles to self-love?
A: The 8 sacred obstacles are: comparison, fear of letting go, undervaluing your magic, believing self-love is a destination, pushing too hard, endless "shoulds," unhealed roots, and waiting for someone else to go first. Each obstacle isn't here to block you, but to build you.
Q: How do I overcome self-love obstacles?
A: Work with obstacles using the ANCHOR Method: Awareness (see the pattern), Nervous System (regulate your body), Choice (decide what serves you), Honor (respect your truth), Ownership (take responsibility), and Remembrance (return to inherent worth). Focus on one obstacle at a time.
Q: Why is comparison an obstacle to self-love?
A: Comparison triggers your nervous system's threat response, making it impossible to access self-love from that state. When you compare yourself to others, you're using someone else as your ruler, and enoughness is not something you reach, it's something you reclaim.
Q: How long does it take to overcome self-love obstacles?
A: Neuroplasticity research shows it takes 59-66 days on average to form new habits. With consistent daily practice using the ANCHOR Method, most people notice shifts within 30-90 days. The obstacles don't disappear, you just get better at navigating them.